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February 25, 2018

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February 25, 2018

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10 Habits of people who manage their emotions remarkably well

August 30, 2018


We've all met this woman... you know the one; she’s about to chair a last minute meeting that she was given an evening’s notice about, she's sped through a dramatic child care drop off, been stuck in traffic for half an hour, arrived at work realising she has Vegemite (hopefully?) on her shirt; and yet in she glides, head held high, beaming smile, giving a little giggle about the morning she's had.


She's the one with calm at her core.


Let me share her secrets.




One of the triggers that launched me in to the world of performance and leadership coaching and training was the lack of gutsy, real life development opportunities in the market for leaders and business owners.


You can give me as many 4-step formulas and leadership strategies as you like, but if I'm under negative stress and pressure in the eye of the storm; it's all going to go out the window!


In a study of more than one million people, TalentSmart found that 90% of top performers are skilled at managing their emotions in times of stress in order to remain calm and in control.


We know it's a key attribute for a leader, not to mention handy to have on hand as the mother, wife, cleaner, counsellor, tailor, chef and chauffeur that many women are expected to be alongside their professional roles!


Yet most of us are walking around with a moderate level of consistent stress and anxiety (and the hormones that go with it) coursing through us. In this state, it's near impossible for it not to all boil over during a chaotic or stressful event.


Why is this the case?


Cortisol and adrenaline are useful hormones; we do need them in order to help us to recognise and react when we might be in danger. Back in the caveman days this was pretty straight forward. We were reacting to real life threats, like being chased by a lion or some other predator.


These days? Our brains haven’t yet adapted to our rapidly changing environment.


We don’t know what a ‘real’ threat is. Every time your phone chimes with an unknown message; you’re subject to the white fluorescent lights of the office; a foreign ‘food-like’ heavily processed substance is ingested; your brain is preparing for potential danger.


For many of us this low level state of alert continues all day and all night as we’re never truly ‘switching off’.


Besides increasing your risk of heart disease, depression, and obesity; stress decreases your cognitive performance.


On the upside though (unless you're being chased by a lion) most of your stress is subjective and under your control.


This means there are strategies that you can employ to lower your stress levels regardless of what’s happening in your environment, ensuring that the stress you experience is intermittent and not prolonged which is far easier for you body to handle.


So, that woman with calm at her core? How does she access and embrace that elusive peace and zen that seems so far out of reach amongst the chaos you call life?!


Here are her secrets:


  • Her phone spends a large portion of the day (and the entire night) or airplane mode so that she isn’t coming from a reactive space


  • She's clear on her vision and what’s really important; so she knows when to say yes and when to say no, avoiding putting too much low value/ low impact activity on her plate


  • She consciously chooses what she’s filling her brain with; and reads, watches and listens to resources that support the life she wants to be living, rather than being dragged along with the status quo


  • She spends as much time as possible outdoors and surrounded with natural light to escape the damaging fluoros and at night, the lights are replaced by fire or candlelight which is soothing for our overstimulated brains


  • She's trained her brain to look for the positive by regularly practicing gratitude


  • She takes regular mini breaks during her days and weeks to regroup


  • She has a high degree of emotional intelligence


  • She escapes the cycle of negative self-talk with a heightened self awareness


  • She reframes her perspective when she knows it’s not serving her


  • She surrounds herself with a network of others who share and encourage this way of living



Want to take an honest look at your level of Calm, Clarity and Confidence? Click here to be sent your free Connected Leadership quiz.




If you’re ready to find your inner zen while finding more confidence and calm in your life, vacancies now exist in my 2019 Lead ID program. Click here to find out more.


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